It is really annoying when a meeting or movie is undergoing and out of sudden, the phone is ringing…

I know they want to show off their ring tone, mp3 format, lossless quality, dynamic surround sound quality and show the hippy side of them, but please not during a business meeting with your colleagues, bosses or clients or in a movie.

This will only show where your professionalism level is. In your ass I guess.

Another tragic is they like to leave their mobile phone on their workplace, when the phone is ringing, they are nowhere to be seen. So the phone keeps ringing nonstop. It gets really annoying when the phone is set to maximum mind blasting volume.

Can’t they just be smart enough to know the importance of the occasion and automatically turn their phone to silent? Do these office assholes need to be reminded just like those advertisement in cinema to politely request you to turn off or silent your mobile phone? Even a nine year old know how to turn off the phone during the class. Asshole!

These office assholes working in a multinational company, carrying high qualification from famous institution or university, dressing in branded and looking smart and professional, earning high salary, but do not know how and when to turn their mobile into silent according to occasion and importance. Asshole!

Once I was really pissed off because my colleague left his modified, pimped Nokia 3310 to extra loud volume ringing nonstop while he was away the whole day, I composed a song into his phone and set it as primary ring tone. The song I composed was,

“Ke ren lai, kan ba ba, ba ba bu zai jia, wo qing ke ren xian zuo xia, zai jing yi bei cha”

Everybody in the office burst into laughter every time his phone starts ringing. Of course, he was trying to figure out who was the bastard that altered his ring tone. Well, if you don’t be an asshole, nobody will be a bastard.

If you are reading this and you are behaving like that and none of your colleagues confronted you being an asshole, let me tell you that you are an asshole, asshole!

If you know anybody who behaving like that, ask them to read this or do me and the rest of the world a favor by educate them, tell them not to be an asshole.

Some lift has longer waiting period on their door’s motion sensor before it closes. If nobody presses the close button, basically everybody in the lift are wasting their precious time, staring at each other awkwardly, smelling each other’s fart, putting more strain on your neck as you only look down the floor or up the ceiling and ended up being slapped and accused for sexual harassment for staring, fainted due to overdose on inhaling methane with hydrogen and ammonia, and neck pain that is more severe than formula one drivers sustained in a high speed corner at Istanbul Park circuit at turn 8 for more than 5g.

It is very frustrated when this is happening. Why can’t just the person closest to the button press the close button and rather to wait?

Through my observation, people that don’t like to press the button are usually higher position personnel in an office building. They think they are the boss, yes they might be, pressing the lift button for others is like a low class job for them, and so they just ignore it.

Another type of people that will rather wait for the lift door close automatically is elderly people. For them, what is the point for rushing? A few seconds don’t make a difference.

My humble suggestion and opinion, the person that come in last should always have the courtesy to press the close button. If the operational panel is unreachable, the person that stands next to the panel should have the courtesy to press the button.

If you think you are so high class and will not press the button for others, please don’t stand next to the operation buttons. Best yet, build your own building with private lift, have an operator operate the buttons for you. Or just stop taking the same lift with some low class people like me that probably will downgrade your image and put you into tabloid headlines by just standing next to you.

In our highly competitive business world, everything is about efficiency and accuracy. Try asking someone to surf the net with 14.4kbps while we can get a fast broadband connection. Try asking Usain Bolt to run slower than 10 seconds in 100 meters, of course he can because he can run a world record of 9.58 in 100 meters. But if you are as fat and only exercise your index fingers for mouse clicking and typing (yes I type with index fingers only) as me, and want to run a competitive time for 100 meters in less than 10 seconds, hell no!

Just do me, maybe not for me, but at least for yourself a favour whenever you are in this situation, get in the lift last, have the courtesy to press the close button. Or if you are standing closest to the operation panel, press the close button for others immediately after the last person got onboard.

Educate others. Thank you.

“Excuse me?”

Though it could be longer like,
“Could you please step aside and let me pass through?”

After they gave way, I’ll thank them by saying,

“Thank you!”

Or a smile, a nod of head to appreciate their kindness.

But I do realize that most of Malaysian, to be specific, those people working in the office, dress professionally, well groom. Yes, those type of people, whenever they ask people to give way, they will give their ugliest face ever, no eye contact, face look down to the ground, like they are inspecting your toe nails whether it got dirt stuck inside and saying with their worst voice ever,

“ASSCUSE MEE!”

Then you gave way, they are through, and that’s all! Not even thank you for giving way, instead left a trail of fart as they are walking further.

Whenever you are asking people to give way, people don’t owe you the way, space or path. You are asking for a favour, so please ask politely and thank them afterwards.

So what if they are graduate from top universities with first class academic result, dress professionally, working in multinational company and earning big ass income that could afford fine dining on every single meal but with awful social responsible and essential communication skills, by saying thank you that the poor understands them dearly and clearly express them whenever people gave them tender, love, and care.

I’m sure our parents thought us to thank people whenever they gave us something, to appreciate them. But as we grew older, we tend to forget about this beautiful ethic, these little words with big meaning and show our appreciation in return.

Instead, only use it on “intention”, like asking people to complete certain task on behalf of you, to close a business deal with big client and etc.

Everything single little thing people do it for you, please thank them and show your appreciation and acknowledge their kindness. If you don’t, people might dislike you, you lose! But if you do, it generate a positive image for you, you win!

Have you thank someone today?

Commonly, we will step into the lift and turn 180 degrees and facing back at the lift’s door. If it is very crowded in the lift, at most we will stand sideways, having our backs facing the side of the lift.

Why nobody would stand with their back facing the door, and face facing inside the lift?

No matter how pack is the lift, if the space is only left for 1 last person to step in, this person for sure will turn around and have the back facing the rest of the passengers, and face towards the door that you could almost kissed.

If you ever in the situation whereby you are in the lift with your face facing inside the lift and the rest of the passengers, if you will find yourself in a very awkward position. The rest will have the strangest ever eye contact with you, as if somebody just broke into their bathroom and sniffed their underpants and they suspect you are the one.

However, if you are in the train, no matter how or where you stand, people just don’t care about you. Even if you are standing upside down. Ok, maybe not.

Why would I know, because I tried it before, just to find out how other people feel about your present in the special position. Best yet, try to look into their eyes.

Try it yourself and experience the “excitement” you won’t get it elsewhere.

Five dressed formally ladies walked out of Masjid Jamek LRT station, and across to OCBC Bank building, and squeezed into three umbrellas, just to avoid the hot sun.

I totally understand what is the feeling standing/walking under the hot sun in the middle of busy city in a tropical country in Malaysia.

I totally understand for those who have sensitive skin and couldn’t expose to hot sun because the skin condition would get worse, irritate, itchy, etc…

I totally understand being woman who take care of their skin very much, willing to spend tremendous amount of money on skin care products just to keep their skin silky smooth, glowing healthy looking skin, and try their level best to avoid the brutal sun to destroy their skin.

I totally understand having your make up on your face, a hot and sunny day will ruin your make up. Make up products are expensive, reapply will take time, time equals to money.

I was walking not far behind these five ladies, I counted my steps from the place they deployed their umbrellas until they keep their umbrella away. And the number of steps taken for me to walk is…

18! Yes eighteen steps only! According to research, on average, men walk about 5.6km/h, women walk about 4.8km/h, and 120 paces per minute. 18 steps is merely a 10 seconds walk under the sun! For those who know the location where I’m talking about, it is that short!

Will 10 seconds of sun cause your skin condition worse? Your make up do melt? If so, how about others who are walking under the sun with me at the same day at the same place? If that is the fact, I would have diagnosed with skin disease long time ago due to long journey walking (10 seconds is so long that needed umbrella to walk under the sun, 10 minutes walk is a journey of marathon, climb to Mount Himalaya (staircases), jump across a few the valley of death (over some drains)) and probably will not it to lunch after so much of adventurous and obstacles to overcome.

I guessed their skin are made from cheaply made plastic, once exposed under the sun for 10 seconds, it will melt and the eyes will drop under same level with the nose, the eyebrow will melt and drag it’s skin until lips level and form moustache.

If only one person is doing so, I can totally understand, maybe that person has skin condition that couldn’t expose to hot sun. But five at the same time, all knowing each other, in the same company with the same skin condition? I don’t think so. Talking about one bullet kill two people, tell me one bullet kill five people next time (only bollywood movie could achieve this).